After 37 years of marriage, Jake dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s
multi-million dollar home. Since Jake had better lawyers, he prevailed.
He gave Edith, his now ex-wife, just 3 days to move out.
She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes and crates.
On the 2nd day, she had two movers come and collect her things.
On the 3rd
day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table
by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each
and every room and stuffed half-eared shrimp shells dipped in caviar
into the hollow of all the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen
and left.
When Jake returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything- cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set
off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and
in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had
cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky
house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to
return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from
the bank to purchase a new place.
Edith called Jake and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened
politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the
house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how
bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what
the house had been worth, but only if she were the sign the papers that
very day. She agreed and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week later, Jake and his girlfriend
stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take
to their new home…
Including the curtain rods.


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